Movie Critiquing and Dog Poop

After watching "Death to Smoochie" a few nights ago, a new analogy popped into my head, helping me, at least, explain to people why some "good" movies won't make the grade in this household. I don't like bad language, i.e., swearing, profanity, taking my Lord's name in vain. If I find myself wincing every couple of minutes then the movie becomes uncomfortable to watch and enjoy. In the specific case of "Smoochie", several characters used a smattering of profanity in their dialogues but of the two main characters, one was extremely profane. I realize that it was done in part to create a contrast to the other main character who was squeaky clean, but it was still way too much. It reminded me...(here comes the analogy)...of walking along a garden pathway enjoying colorful floral displays and topiary sculptures until you suddenly feel your foot squash into something. Oh no! The path is like a mine field of dog poop! You can't ignore it and therefore can't focus fully on the garden. If you do ignore it, it will stick with you and you will smell as awful as it does. At this point it's best to just exit the garden and don't come back. Some years back we rented the Blair Witch Hunt. That movie, language wise, was like walking through an open sewer. It was turned off after 15 minutes, tops.

Someone e-mailed the following story to me a couple years ago and although I haven't had to use it on my kids yet, I'm sure the time will come.

Two young teens were trying to convince their dad that they should be allowed to attend a concert with their friends. He wasn't too inclined to let them go since he had heard some negative things about the group but ended up giving his assent. Later, when he asked his kids about the concert he was disturbed to find them able to recite the lyrics of several really objectionable songs. The kids agreed that the lyrics weren't very good but contended that the musicians' ability was really great and that it was worth going just to hear them play. This gave Dad something to think about. The next week, the kids asked their dad for permission to
see a movie with the same friends on the following day. Now, their dad knew what the movie was rated and why, and asked the kids if they really thought it was a good idea. "Aw Dad," came the reply, "There may be some junk in it, but it's starring ________, who is a really talented actor. He won an Oscar and besides, the special effects are fantastic and the story is by a best selling author!" Dad appeared to give it some thought and said, "O.K., you can go and I'll even make some brownies to take along." The kids were elated and ran off to tell their friends. Meanwhile, Dad was hard at work in the kitchen whipping up his special recipe. Later that afternoon, when the kids came home, they were greeted by the smell of chocolatey goodness. They were ready and willing to try out the goods but Dad had to have his moment of glory to describe his brownie creation. As he cut the brownies, he told them how carefully he had selected the ingredients, all organic and fresh and high quality and added that he had included a special, secret ingredient that set these brownies apart from all the rest. The kids curiosity was piqued and they asked him what the "secret" of his brownies was. As he handed them each a plate, he said, "dog poop." What! He must be kidding! Why would he ruin such good brownies with dog poop? He calmly explained that there was no reason not to eat them because he had used whole wheat flour, expensive Dutch pressed cocoa, eggs from free range chickens and raw organic sugar and real vanilla extract, not to mention real, organically produced butter. They, in turn, argued that no matter HOW good the other ingredients were, they would NOT eat anything with poop in it. "I only added a quarter cup or so," he explained, "and the rest of the ingredients are fine. Are you telling me that just a small amount of something bad would make you want to pass on these?" "YES!" came the reply. "So," he summarized, "It's not ok to put even a little filth in your body but it IS ok to put it in your mind? Even the 'good' in the movie that you want to see will not negate the filth that you will also take in. Poop is still poop whether eaten, seen or heard." Everyone stayed home the next night and played Monopoly and Dad never had to give another long explanation when they asked to go to questionable places. One simple query ended the pleas; "Anyone for my brownies?"